Faith over fear
Photo credit: Michael Ochs
Every morning, I take my dog on a walk through my neighborhood. We take the same route; I smile at the same neighbors; Curtis pees in the same spots. But this morning, I felt compelled to change up our routine.
We went left where we normally go right and within a couple minutes, found ourselves approaching an ornate church. I grew up Catholic, but it certainly doesn’t take a confirmation ceremony to appreciate the architectural beauty that is a Catholic church. Impressive steps, leading up to powerfully tall wooden doors, flanked by delicate stained glass. In a metropolitan neighborhood populated with the smooth cement walls, floor-to-ceiling glass windows, and gated front stoops of modern homes, the Catholic church presents a decadence of generations past that I find uniquely beautiful and, on most days, comforting. But today was not most days.
Today is Easter. And yet, the impressive steps were not decorated with church goers in pastel dresses and suits. The lawn was not full of children hunting for treat-filled eggs. And the doors – the beautiful, mahogany doors that welcome every kind of person, no matter their past, present, or future transgressions – were closed. My heart sank.
And in the well-manicured yard of this church, was a woman. She grabbed my attention not because of the surgical mask covering her mouth, but because she was on her knees, praying. As I watched her complete the sign of the cross, the grief that I’ve been struggling to identify or understand burst out of me. Unexpectedly and uncontrollably, I wept. Anger, fear, confusion, hopelessness – each fallen tear seemed to represent a different emotion.
Back at home, during a phone call with a close friend, I described the scene at the church. I told her about the woman I saw and the sadness I felt. She was quiet for a moment, absorbing my words, and then responded with an earnest, “I think that’s really nice.”
Now was my turn to be quiet for a moment and absorb her words. Nice? How is that possible?
But, my friend, always the optimist, was right.
It hadn’t occurred to me to push myself toward a positive perspective. It’s so much easier to feel defeated. And while there are a plethora of things to be upset about, there are also plenty of things to spark hope. Such as a lone woman whose faith is stronger than her fear.
The majority of us have no control over what is happening in the world. And that is undoubtedly terrifying. But, we don’t have to be ruled by fear. We may feel powerless, but we aren’t. My emotions belong to me; I have the power to decide how I want to feel. And you have the same. We can choose to spend another day on the couch, awake yet unconscious, wasting our breath on another rerun marathon; or, we can be like that woman and choose faith over fear.
Today, I choose the latter. And I hope you, religious or not, choose the same. Because time isn’t promised. We may be forced to change our routines and establish a new normal, but that doesn’t change the fact that our time on Earth, and with our loved ones, is fleeting.
I don’t want to waste my energy on negativity, fear, and hopelessness. And though it’s not an easy (or natural) choice, for now, I choose positivity. And I hope that you also make the conscious choice to live. Because no matter the headlines, no matter the changes around us, there are, and always will be, things worth living for.
And with that, here is my Quarantunes (Live) Part 2 playlist to keep your spirits high.
Track list for those not on Spotify:
Beyond (Live) - Leon Bridges, Recorded at Spotify Studios NYC
Dr. Feelgood (Live) - Aretha Franklin, Aretha Live at Fillmore West
Spirit in the Dark, reprise (Live) - Aretha Franklin (feat Ray Charles), Aretha Live at Fillmore West
Valerie (Live at BBC Radio) - Amy Winehouse, Back to Black: B Sides
Caress Me Down (Live) - Sublime, 3 Ring Circus: Live at the Palace
Bohemian Rhapsody (Live) - Panic at the Disco, All My Friends We’re Glorious: Death of a Bachelor Tour Live
Dangerous Woman (live) - Ariana Grande, k bye for now (SWT live)
