Quarantine day 27: A flurry of unfamiliar feelings
Photo credit: Emma McIntyre
A month into quarantine… how are you feeling?
Whatever your answer to that question, just remember that your feelings are valid. They don’t have to be justified, understandable, or rational. All you have to do is allow yourself to feel them. During these unprecedented times, we have to make conscious efforts to be compassionate with ourselves. And that means giving ourselves permission to actually feel our emotions as they occur. If you’re anything like me, you might be feeling a new emotion every 25 minutes. And as confusing or as frustrating as those mood swings might be, permit yourself to ride it out.
Easier said than done, right? Many of us have grown up training ourselves to do anything BUT feel our emotions. We apologize for our anger or anxiety, we withhold tears until we’re bursting, we invalidate our intuitions by rooting ourselves in denial… none of which is productive to outlasting this pandemic. Our future prosperity hinges on our ability to be rational in the present. And to do that, we’ve got to face our feelings. Acknowledge them. Allow them a seat at the table rather than sequestering them to the hall.
This shit doesn’t come naturally to me. At all. And during these weeks in quarantine, I’m feeling emotions I’ve never experienced before. I don’t know how to describe them, how to acknowledge them, or how to cohabitate with them. And just when I think that maybe I’ve got a sense of what’s going on inside me, the emotion turns on its head, and I have a new stranger to get acquainted with. It’s exhausting.
But music helps. It always does. So I’m allowing myself to “feel” while safely enveloped in all different kinds. I put some playlists together in the hopes that they can help someone else through this strange, strange time we’re living in.
First up, Quarantunes (Live) Part 1. Some of my favorite live recordings. This is a bit of a darker collection of songs, so be warned. I put this playlist together when I felt spontaneously compelled to lay flat on my couch, crying, and engulfed in music. So light a candle, press play (I recommend listening in order, rather than shuffling), and let those feelings flow. It’s ok. We’re going to be ok.
Here’s the track list in case you’re not on Spotify:
Raindrops (an angel cried) (live) - Ariana Grande; k bye for now (SWT live)
Make It Rain (live) - H.E.R; Live at Austin City Limits
Nothing Else Matters (live) - Metallica; Live and Acoustic at The Masonic
The Man Who Sold The World (live) - Nirvana; MTV Unplugged in New York (25th Anniversary- live)
White Queen (As it Began) (live) - Queen; Live at The Rainbow ‘74
Where Did You Sleep Last Night? (live) - Nirvana; MTV Unplugged in New York (25th Anniversary- live)
Keep Lying (live) - Donna Missal; Live from Capitol Studios
